


Renegade heartache

by PoeticHammurabi



Series: Petals like ash [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Hanahaki Disease, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 05:13:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16737766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticHammurabi/pseuds/PoeticHammurabi
Summary: Genji's cold as ice.For someone who's normal, they wouldn't even try to develop feelings for someone so broken and damaged.Jesse isn't normal, and he falls hard





	Renegade heartache

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm back on my bullshit. 
> 
> I noticed there is a lack of fics dealing with hanahaki in the Mcgenji tag, so here I am to fill that void.
> 
> Just a note, most things that are italic mostly indicate characters talking in a language that isn't english. 
> 
> *'Ich hab's doch gewusst' is german for 'I knew it.' It's the only thing written in another language because I actually know German (I mean, I'm learning it) there is a scene where two characters converse in Spanish, but I don't wanna butcher the Spanish language by using google translate, so thats why there's the useage of italics to indicate code switching when it does happen :)) outside that, italics are used for emphasis
> 
> I apologise in advance it formatting is off, I wrote this using Samsung memo, lol. I usually use microsoft word, but I felt like I wanted to torture myself. 
> 
> Also, I'd like to state that I have a head cannon where Jesse's illiterate, he came from a very poor family, who didn't have the money to give him the education. Also, his parents both were killed when he was very young, and spent a few years by himself on the streets. It wasn't after that until he was picked up by the Deadlocks, reading and writing isn't essential to be able to kill people and traffic illegal weapons, so Jesse never learnt how to read, so there you go.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy

The smell of rain and gunpowder filled his nose as Jesse dragged himself through another botched mission. The guy he was looking for managed to escape before he could even think about ways around security.  
  
Genji, not looking like a happy camper either, stormed past him grumbling into the communicator about getting back up, his red eyes glaring daggers into Jesse's soul.  
  
Jesse knew that look. Jesse knows Genji thinks its all his fault that they fucked up. 'You're too stupid for these missions, when will Reyes learn?' Of course he blames everyone but himself. Fucking asshole. And Jesse would be lying if he said that whenever Genji degrades him like that, it fucking hurts.  
  
Now, you see, Genji wasn't the nicest person on the planet, and Jesse could see why; betrayal hurts more than a gun shot to the stomach, but that certainly doesn't give him the right to be a raging asshole to everyone. The thing is though, Jesse couldn't help but develop some sort of...  _attraction_ towards Genji. It's fucked, but there was something about him that made something in Jesse tingle. "Keep standing there and I'll leave you."  
  
On second thought, Jesse wanted to deck Genji. "It would be nice if you could fucking help me." Jesse grumbled, his leg was bleeding heavily and some bone in there felt broken.  
  
Genji looked at him for a moment before scoffing, turning on his heel and made his way to the drop ship, leaving Jesse to wallow in his self pity. "Yeah, thanks."  
  
\-----  
  
After a visit from Angela, there was indeed something broken in Jesse's right leg. Which he dreaded because that means he'll be stuck at the base for two weeks. "No engaging in anything too physically demanding, that leg needs time to heal." Angela had said, wrapping Jesse's leg in what he assumed was a cast. She looked up at him, blue eyes stern. "Doctor's orders."  
  
"I hear ya, Angie." Jesse smiled through pain as Angela squeezed his leg in warning. "No sneaking out at night and hurting myself even more, nu-uh."  
  
"Good! Since you're off duty for a couple of weeks, so is Genji. That means you two will go through a team bonding program, since you and him don't seem to know what coordination is."  
  
"Hey, it ain't me it's him! He just pisses off without telling me, and when he fucks up he blames it on me! Tell him to get a better attitude!" Jesse retorted.  
  
"You can tell that to Reyes, not me. Now get out of here and get some rest." Angela rushed Jesse out and slammed the door behind him. Jesse leaned on his crutches in defeat.  
  
'Why the fuck did you have to go and develop some stupid crush on someone that hates you?'  
  
\----  
After a whole week of failed 'team bonding' exercises and Genji ignoring him, Jesse noticed he started to get sick, sick as in coughing up flower petals.  
  
It was after a particular session with Genji, which ended with him exploding with rage and punching Jesse square in the face screaming ' _You don't know shit about me cowboy!'_  And ' _You are of no use to this team_ ' along with a slew of Japanese Jesse couldn't help but assume were a bunch of insults, Jesse dragged himself back to his room on the verge of tears. He began coughing and hacking violently. He brought up a hand to muffle his loud coughs, and when the hacking died down, he pulled his hand back and almost passed out.  
  
There on his hand were delicate, pink flower petals. They looked similar to the flower petals that decorated Hanamura during the spring.

  
_Of fucking course_.

  
Jesse was aware of the disease, there was a kid from the Deadlock gang who died from hanahaki. His _abuela_ told stories about a lover who was infected by hanahaki, but the thing is; they all got their love in the end.  
  
What left Jesse in tears is the fact that he knows he's going to end up like that kid from Deadlock. Slowly, these petals will become bloody and that eventually, he'll just choke on these damn petals and die.  
  
Since when did Jesse get so pathetically sad?  
  
\-----  
From that night on, Jesse did his best to hide his  _problem_ , though it didn't take too long for Reyes to catch on. "Jesse, to my office, now." Reyes' tone was firm, obviously not wanting any objections. Jesse obliged, following his boss to his office, ready to take whatever criticisms Reyes had for him.  
" _Now_ ," he started in Spanish, sitting down. " _How's that leg going, Mijo?_ " Sarting out with small talk, Jesse notes.  
  
" _It's all better now_." Jesse replied. " _Am I allowed to go on missions_ again?"  
  
" _Don't be so impatient. Yes you will, but I've got something important to ask you_." Reyes leaned back, pulling out what looked to be a bunched up tissue. He set it on the table and flattened it out.  
  
Jesse's heart screeched to a halt in his chest. Reyes picked out a delicate, pink flower petal from the opened tissue. " _Care to explain?"_  
  
" _Where'd you get those?_ " Was all Jesse could muster.  
  
" _Saw you hacking up a lung in the shooting range late one night. I assumed you thought you were alone. Once you left, I picked these,"_ his boss nods to the petals on the table, " _\- off the ground. Didn't take me too long to guess what was going on."_ Reyes placed the petal down, his gaze meeting Jesse's. Concern was all Jesse could discern from his dark eyes. " _How long has this been going on?_ "  
  
Jesse thought about avoiding the question, but seeing how open Reyes is, he decided against it. " _Not too long after m' last mission, sir."_  
  
" _Right..."_ Reyes paused for a moment. " _Who is it?"_  
  
" _Why you gotta know?_ "  
  
" _Its Genji, isn't it?_ " Jesse remained silent, avoiding Reyes' stare. " _Nailed it right on the head, didn't I, Mijo?_ "  
  
" _Why does this matter to you? Can't you just ignore it and let me be?_ "  
  
" _Don't give me that shit McCree. You know I care about you, nor am I going to lose my best asset to some damn flower disease."_ Jesse knew what Reyes was getting at here; talk to Genji.  
  
" _Its kinda hard when he hates me. If I try, I'll get worse 'cuz I know he's gonna hurt me._ "  
  
" _Won't know it 'till you try it._ "  
  
" _Fuck off."_ Jesse started. " _Y'know damn well that ain't gonna work. Damn guy's just as emotionally constipated as Morrison, worse, even."_  
  
" _Listen here kid,_ " Reyes' tone softened. He carefully collected the petals back into the tissue and pocketed it. " _Genji hasn't always been like this. There's a chance to get him to feel some semblance of emotion, for him to allow himself to connect to the people around him."_  
  
" _Yeah but-_ "  
  
Reyes held up a hand, silencing the cowboy. " _I'm not finished, Mijo. The reason why he pushes people away is because the last person he cared about betrayed him. The only way he knows to keep others away is to be cold and violent. Now, I know someone else who used to have a similar case_." Jesse noticed the beginning of a shit eating grin splay itself on Reyes' lips. " _Am I wrong?_ "  
  
Jesse knew Reyes was talking about him. " _No, sir._ " He said, defeated. It was infuriating that Reyes was so damn right.  
  
" _That's what I want to hear."_ He smiled. " _Listen Jesse, talk to the kid, alright? You two work together in the field, you're the person who he interacts with the most outside of Angela. You're good at bringing out emotions of people, he will be no different_." Reyes pointed to his pocket where he previously placed the petals. " _Don't let this kill your drive just yet. Get him to open up to you_."  
  
Jesse nodded slowly. " _Does Angie know?_ "  
  
" _Yes_."  
  
" _Looks like I'm gonna be avoiding her._ " He grumbled, hoping it was low enough for Reyes not to hear.  
  
" _You're going to need to go to her for a final physical before I let you back out on the field, Mijo."_ Reyes then gave a motion. " _Now get outta here."_ Jesse quickly stood up, making his way to the door. As he was about to step out, Reyes stopped him. " _Don't forget what I told you, okay? The kid's hurt, provide the comfort he needs. It will help both you and him, alright Mijo?_ "  
  
" _Yes boss, see you tomorrow."_  
  
\---  
  
Stealing a glance at the clock on the wall, it was almost 12. The halls devoid of activity, as everyone should have gone to bed two hours ago. Except for those who have insomniac tendencies such as Jesse himself and not surprisingly, Genji.  
  
After having a minor coughing fit in the common room, Jesse quickly shoved the petals into his pocket after hearing light footsteps enter the room.

"What are you doing?" Genji broke the silence first.  
  
"Just... y'know... late night coffee." Jesse quickly made an excuse, quickly turning on the coffee machine. "I can't sleep."  
  
"... Coffee isn't going to help, you do know that, right?" Jesse turned around, looking down at the other. Yes, Genji was a good head and a bit shorter than him, which he found kind of cute whenever he and Genji were close enough, Genji would glance up at him through his eyelashes - just like right now.  
  
"Well, I ain't gonna get any sleep tonight, so I might as well keep myself busy." Genji made a scoffing sound, making his way past Jesse and turned the coffee machine off, ignoring Jesse's protests.  
  
He pushed past him, turning on the kettle and chucked what looked to be like a teabag at Jesse. He couldn't read anything on it since it was all in Japanese. "Its Chamomile tea. It helps you sleep."  
  
"Are you sure this ain't shit hippies believe works but actually doesn't?" That earned Jesse a red hot glare from Genji.  
  
"If you're going to be like that, then perhaps don't complain about your problems if you don't want to make an effort to fix them." He snapped. Genji's harsh tone gave Jesse the urge to cough again.  
  
"No, no, its fine, I'll... I'll drink it. Thanks." Genji huffed, bringing out two cups, placing one next to Jesse and one for himself. He placed a teabag in his cup.  
  
"I never get sleep here, but Angela keeps harassing about it, so I find myself drinking this quite often." Genji paused to pour hot water into his cup. "Its helps somewhat."  
  
Jesse could tell Genji hadn't slept in a couple of days. His eyes darkened by the bags and his accent seemed to be thicker and spoke more slowly as if making sure not to make a mistake.  
  
_How cute_.  
  
Jesse didn't get enough time to think more as Genji quickly made an exit, leaving him alone in the small Kitchenette. Jesse looked down at the teabag again. "Aw, hell." He dumped it in the cup Genji gave him and filled it with whatever was left in the kettle.  
  
Jesse managed to sleep that night.  
  
\----  
It seemed that the harder Jesse tried to hide his illness, the worse it got. About two weeks ago, he would cough up petals every couple of hours. Now, he's spewing petals every 15 minutes.  
  
He's recieved worried looks from Overwatch angents such as Reinhardt, Lena, Morrison (if you call a subtle eyebrow raise a form of concern), hell, even Torbjörn asked if Jesse was okay as he frantically wiped possible petals from his beard.  
  
Since the coughing had become more common, Jesse found it even harder to sleep, meaning most of his nights are spent in the common room. Almost every night, Genji comes in, Japanese Chamomile tea in hand.

tonight was no exception. Jesse hears the footsteps before he meets glowing red eyes. "You look terrible." He comments dryly.  
  
"When do I never look terrible to you?" Jesse shoots back. Genji doesn't respond for a while as he moves to the Kitchenette to make his tea.  
  
"You look worse than what you normally do." Genji says. "I can tell you haven't been sleeping. Last mission, you couldn't even take out a Talon terrorist by shooting him, your aim was off."  
  
" _And?"_ Jesse glanced at Genji's back. That shut him up. What felt like an eternity of silence, Genji quietly places a hot cup of tea in front of Jesse.  
  
"Its stronger than the tea I usually give you."  
  
"Why're you suddenly so gracious?" Jesse asked. Genji paused for a moment, letting his words sink in.  
  
"Listen _McCree_ ," Genji's tone hardened. "I won't tolerate your impudence." The sudden urge to cough made Jesse turn away from Genji, bringing a hand up catch the flower petals. "... of course everyone thinks I have no empathy." Genji seethes.  
  
"Your actions speak loudly, Genji." Jesse croaked crumbling the petals in his tight fist. "'S hard because all you do is belittle me and degrade me. That ain't fair, y'know?" Jesse catches Genji staring down at the ground in what he assumed was thought. "It's... let's say it's out of character for you to suddenly give me this tea almost every night, even though a couple of hours ago, you yelled at me For simply saying hello." He grumbled. "So sorry for being confused."  
  
"I..." Genji paused before growling something under his breath in what Jesse thought was Japanese. He turned to leave.  
  
"Hol' up." Jesse called out. He was surprised that Genji stopped. "Although you confuse me to no end, I'm grateful for the tea you bring me." Jesse taps the cup in front of him. "We're a team, alright? I just want y' ta open up, y'know? I wanna understand ya."  
  
Genji turns his head to glare at Jesse. "You will _never_ understand. Do not even attempt to." With that, Genji stormed out of the room, leaving Jesse somewhat hurt and frustrated.  
  
"Fucking shit." He ran his hands through the messy mop of his hair.  
  
"Watch your language, Jesse." Comes another voice. It was too soft to be Genji's. He glanced up to see Ana making her way towards him.  
  
"Pardon me, ma'am." Jesse quickly corrects himself.  
  
"I see you've said something wrong to Genji. If by going off how he exited here." Ana smiles, taking a seat next to Jesse. "I see he still drinks Chamomile, too."  
  
"Ugh, everything sets the damn bastard off." He recieved a smack from Ana. "Sorry, but I ain't lyin'"  
  
"He's got a long way to go, but he can be quite... tolerable." Ana thinks for a moment. "He's opened up to me before."  
  
"Tell me your secret." Jesse jokes. "Cuz I've tried all I can but he's still a tough one to crack."  
  
"I guess he understands I have authority. You know, he told me he used to brew the same Chamomile tea for his brother." Ana started. "He actually doesn't like Chamomile, but drinks it now."  
  
"Ain't his brother the one that... did _that_ ta him?"  
  
"Yes. I think he drinks the tea because its all he has left from his home. Sad, really." Ana murmured, staring at the steaming cup. "After Reyes had a talk to him, he's trying to open up to everyone here."  
  
Something in Jesse's stomach sunk. "Boss didn't tell him about my illness, did he?"  
  
"Of course he didn't. He tore into him about his poor behavior towards not only you, but everyone else. I guess he got through to him." She nodded towards the cup before standing. "Anyway, try and get some rest. You look terrible."  
  
"That ain't the first time I've heard that today." Jesse grumbled before finally taking a sip of his tea. Ana laughed as she left the room, leaving Jesse to himself. He put the cup down before he coughed petals into it, bringing his hand back he noticed the pink was tainted with red.  
  
_Fuck_.  
  
\--------  
  
Since Reyes told her a couple of weeks ago, Angela was adamant Jesse visit her every week for check-up. Jesse drags himself down the hall and and into the medical ward. Angela greets him with a stare, while silently pointing to the examination table.  
  
"You don't gotta do a lot. I'm fine." Angela's stare hardened. "... fine, fine." Jesse drops himself onto the table, grumbling to himself.  
  
Pleased, Angela smiles. She quickly makes her way over to Jesse. "Now, has the coughing got any worse?" She asks, gathering her things while Jesse removes his shirt.  
  
"Uhhh..." Yet again, he thinks about lying to Angela, but knowing if he does and he gets caught, he won't hear the end of it. "Yeah, actually." Angela places a stethoscope on his bare chest. He flinches from how cold it felt.  
  
The smile on Angela slips a bit. "Does it hurt? Is there any blood?" Jesse nods quietly. The doctor sighs sadly, smile turning into a deep frown. "You know, you can get surgery."  
  
Angela proposed the idea on his first weekly check up. Jesse always hated the idea, knowing that getting surgery is also getting rid of a big part of himself. Call him sentimental, or a hopeless romantic, but Jesse just couldn't do it. "Ya know m' answer, Angie. It's either he magically loves me back or I slowly choke to death on some stupid lung flowers. I ain't taking the easy way out."  
  
"You know, you never told me who it is."  
  
"And it's staying that way." Jesse quipped. Angela's response was an unamused stare. "I'm serious."  
  
"Listen, Jesse." Angela sighs. "I'm not just your doctor, I'm also your friend. If I knew who this person is, I can help you." She places her hand tenderly on his arm. Her pale complex contrasting against his dark skin tone. Jesse thought about it for a moment. Thinking of all the reactions of her knowing he's dying over her most important patient.  
  
"It's... it's Genji." He finally said. The atmosphere so thick he could chew it.  
  
" _Ich hab's doch gewusst!"_ She said quietly. It was loud enough for Jesse to hear, though he had no clue what she just said.  
  
"Hey, Angie, if you're gonna mock me, at least say it in English." Angela smiled, waving her hand.  
  
"No, no." She laughed. "I _knew_ it. I _knew_ you had the hots for him!" Jesse balked. He prided his skill in keeping his feelings hidden. Guess he didn't do a good enough job.  
  
"Am I really that obvious?"  
  
"Um, yeah. You're not very good at schooling your expressions outside of poker." She continued to giggle. "I always see you glancing at him, and when he acknowledges your existance, you keen like a puppy."  
  
"Hey now, that ain't nice of you to laugh at my feelings." Jesse felt embarrassed. "I'm dyin' over here."  
  
"You and Genji could totally work."  
  
"Hey, don't try and give me false hope. And don't tell him anything, alright?"  
  
"Oh I won't tell him, Jesse." Angela dismissed his harsh tone. " I will talk to him though." Her tone became serious again. "Your life in on the line here, you are important to me, okay?"  
  
"... I know." Jesse sighed, standing up and put his shirt back on. "I'll see you next week." With that he leaves, boots dragging against the clean floor. Once he leaves, Angela heaves a sigh.  
  
"What a stubborn man." She grumbled.  
  
\------  
  
Every time Genji steps into the medical ward, he feels like throwing up. Memories of being bedridden for months on end and humiliating experiences like re-learning simple things like walking and eating flood his thoughts whenever the sterile smell hits his nose. He scans the room and spots Angela at her desk, chewing on a pen in thought as she stares at whatever she's working on.  
  
Its not like Genji cared, really. "You needed me?" He starts. Angela's head shot up in surprise.  
  
"Oh you," she starts, jumping off her chair. "You're always so quiet, I think I should invest in putting a bell on you." She jokes.  
  
"I would _not_ appreciate that." Genji grumbles.  
  
"Anyway!" Angela changes the topic. "I've called you because your medicine has come in!"  
  
Oh, right. Angela mentioned them before. Something about anti-depressants, he stopped listening after she mentioned about prescribing him medication. She hands him the packet. "I trust you to take them wisely." She started. "This is bupropion. You take it in the mornings, it can also help your insomnia."  
  
"Cool. Can I leave?" Angela tuts, giving him _the look_.  
  
"None of that attitude, Genji." She folds her arms. "Which brings me to the other reason why I wanted you here. You need to drop that foul attitude." Her tone drops to an angry one. "Especially to your higher ups and your teammates."  
  
Genji remains silent, repressing whatever snarky comment he wanted to say.  
  
"Am I clear?" Angela raises an eyebrow. "Too many times have I had McCree in here because you leave him in whatever mess you create during missions. I'm sick of it and it's time to stop."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"Good. Don't forget to take your medication every morning, and respect your coworkers. I'm specifically talking about McCree."  
  
"Why him?"  
  
"Because he's your most important asset, you need him as much as he needs you." Genji humored Angela, giving her a curt nod before leaving.  
  
\-----  
  
Over the next couple of weeks, Genji's attitude has died down, to Jesse, anyway. Jesse noticed that Genji talks more to him, says hello when he shoots him with a warm ' _howdy_ '. Jesse feels somewhat better during missions, because Genji is always there by his side and not somewhere far away from him and getting into shit. Genji waits for him to get on the air drop when the mission is complete or they have to retreat early.  
  
It's nice to know your teammate is always there for you, and Genji has been doing a very good job of that.  
  
Though Genji's become somewhat more tolerable, Jesse's hanahaki hasn't gotten better. He finds himself coughing up small, bloodied petals on the field. The volume of petals has increased, and it got harder to hide them. It got so hard to keep his disease discreet, that Genji found out.  
  
He and Genji were dropped off in the town of Rialto. Jesse had been here before, he quite liked the place. Italy's culture was similar to the culture his family came from, which gave him a feeling of nostalgia.  
  
Although Rialto was beautiful, the city attracted dangerous people. Jesse had been here because there were reports of Terrorist behaviour, most likely to be related to Talon. Jesse was not surprised he was going back to Rialto when Reyes had pulled him and Genji into a debrief of the mission.  
  
Their mission; scope out the city. There was a ball of some description taking place in one of the main halls of Rialto. Reyes suspected Talon agents to be there.  
  
Simple enough, this type of mission wasn't new for Genji or Jesse. But somehow, they fucked it up. _Big time_. By the end of the night, sirens blared, civilians screaming and the cacophony of guns sounds throughout the once silent streets of late-night Rialto.  
  
" _McCree_!" Genji's harsh voice reaches Jesse's communicator. "Get the fuck up here! Talon agents coming in dozens on the left!" Jesse notices heavily armored agents flow in from the main doorway. Jesse mentally shits himself before he bolts to the stair case. He had to reach the top floor for him and Genji to retreat.  
  
Unfortunately for Jesse, his disease stopped him from climbing the stairs. A piercing pain blossomed in his chest. He doubled over, coughing harshly. Petals fluttered everywhere, so many Jesse couldn't catch all of them in his palm. Over the loud thumps of Talon thugs and his coughing, Jesse could hear Genji's yelling through his comm. "Jesse McCree! Where are you?"  
  
Genji had called him Jesse. Oh, Jesse always dreamed of a day to hear his given name uttered by Genji. A strange wish, but hearing him call Jesse ' _McCree_ ' all the time was getting old. "I-" his voice cut off. He coughed harder. Jesse swore he was going to spew up his lung. "I'm in the main stairwell..." he paused to fight back another coughing fit. "I can't-"  
  
"I am on my way." Genji quickly replied. Jesse slumped over. Rolling to his side and pulled out his revolver just in time two thugs made their way towards him. Two bullets is what it took for Jesse to take them out. He groaned, hacking up flowers as he dragged himself up a couple of steps. "McCree!" Jesse hears Genji calling from above.  
  
"Down here, darlin'" He calls back. Another thug comes in. Another bang sounded from his gun and the thug's body met the floor with a loud thud.  
  
"McCree." Aw damn. Jesse doesn't even bother to hide the pink petals that surround him. "What..." Genji's voice drifts off.  
  
"The pink goes well with this black uniform, ain't it?" He cracks a smile before coughing again. He spits some petals on the ground. "Don't we gotta get outta here?" Jesse tries to avoid the subject as he attempts to lift himself to his feet.  
  
Genji was quick to react, wrapping an arm under Jesse's and around his torso. He lifts him up and drags him up the rest of the stairs. "There is back up waiting for us outside. We have to hurry." He says quickly. Jesse catches Genji glancing at him. "You will explain when we get out of here. I will not accept no for an answer. Am I clear?"  
  
Judging by Genji's tone, Jesse has an inkling of an idea that Genji knows. He _knows_.  
He knew this would come. Jesse knows Genji isn't stupid. In fact, he's too smart for his own good, Jesse thinks sourly as he allows himself to be dragged onto the airship by Genji.  
  
\-----  
  
That night after Jesse managed to escape the medical ward, he finds himself on one of the roof levels of the complex. The moon glares back at him as he pulls out a smoke and lighting it with his ancient lighter. Flicking it closed, he slumps against the wall behind him.  
  
He allows himself to think for a moment. He watches the waves of the sea crash into the rocks below. He doesn't hear Genji behind him.  
  
"You sure like to hide when you do not wish to talk to anyone." Genji says.   
  
If Jesse didn't have such a dangerous job and wasn't so jaded from his time in Deadlock, he would've been startled. He sighs out a big cloud of smoke. "That ain't it, darlin'"  
  
He knew Genji would have fired back, telling him for the nth time to not call him 'darlin'', but was surprised when he didn't. "If you have Hanahaki, you should not be smoking."  
  
"I ain't quittin' 'till I'm six feet under." Jesse quips. "That'll be comin' soon, though." Jesse quickly finished off the smoke before flicking it off the side of the roof. "What do you want?"  
  
"I know who's caused you to suffer from Hanahaki." Jesse suddenly felt rage and embarrassment fill him.  
  
"If you've come here to be an asshole about it, tell me I'm stupid for developing these feelings, then kindly fuck off." He growled. "I ain't changin' anything. And don't you _dare_ try and convince me to undergo surgery."  
  
"Why?" Genji asks, his voice oddly monotone and level. Jesse hated it. "It is a waste for you to wait and die to some silly feelings."  
  
" _Excuse me?_ " Jesse bristles, voice raised. He whips around to look down at Genji in the eyes. "Silly feelings? Are ya fuckin' kiddin' me? I can't help that shit, okay? I ain't takin' the surgery cuz I ain't gonna cut out a huge part'a me, you understand?"  
  
"You are a foolish man, Jesse."  
  
"Oh, now ya call me Jesse. I'm not gonna buy into whatever mind games ya wanna play, Shimada." He spits.  
  
Genji's eyes narrowed. "That isn't my name anymore. Do not test me, McCree."  
  
"I said this before, if ya here ta piss me off, then kindly beat it." Jesse fixes Genji with a poisonous glare for a long moment before he groans, hunching over and coughing. The petals coming out more than ever before. They are more red than pink. "Please." Jesse croaks. "Just... leave me be..."  
  
What happened next almost knocked Jesse off his feet.  
  
He catches Genji frantically fiddling with the metal covering most of his face and head. It comes off with a few clicks. Jesse finally gets to see the entirety of Genji's face.  
  
Although pale and decorated with deep, angry scars, Genji had very pretty features. Jesse remembers Reyes mentioning about Genji having a playboy past, he understands that now.  
  
Genji leans up, standing on his toes and presses a firm kiss to Jesse's lips. His hands place themselves on Jesse's shoulders, keeping himself balanced.  
  
Jesse thinks it's too early when Genji begins to pull back. So he places a firm hand on Genji's hip, keeping him close as he presses back. The pain in his chest fades for a moment and he suddenly feels at ease.  
  
For the first time in over a month, the weight on Jesse's shoulders lift, letting him to feel lighter than ever. It was a feeling Jesse forgot how enjoyable it was. "I'm sorry." Genji whispered against Jesse's lips. He lowers himself, standing back on his heels.  
  
Their close proximity reminds Jesse just how much he towers over Genji. "I damn hope this ain't some emotional manipulation game ya playin'." He frowns.  
  
Genji's face contorted. His brows furrowed. "Although I do not wish to feel the burden of your possible death, I also have something to share with you." He fiddles with his hands. He actively avoids Jesse's gaze. "I... I cannot but feel an emotion I have never experienced before. I cannot help but feel... safe and so... right when I am with you."  
  
"Kinda hard to believe that when all ya done is given me th' cold shoulder, darlin'" Jesse drawls.  
  
"That is because I was afraid that you would have not wanted anything to do with the mess that I am." Genji grumbled. "Who would want something so broken like me? I am not even human, I'm an abomination of metal and flesh."  
  
"Don't be so unfair on yaself."  
  
"Do not tell me lies." Genji was quick to reply, distancing himself from Jesse. "It was inappropriate for me to come onto you like that." He pauses. "I apologise."  
  
"Nah, nah. You come back here right now." Jesse pulls Genji into his chest. "We ain't finished here."  
  
For once, Genji does not fight back. He remains still in Jesse's tight grip.  
Jesse is right. Genji felt stupid for Wanting to abandon Jesse like that. He lifts his head to look up at the taller man. "You are not wrong."  
  
"O'course I ain't, darlin'" Jesse doesn't even try to thicken his accent, before leaning down to capture Genji's lips into another kiss.  
   
Of course the two had a lot to talk about, Genji was aware. But he allowed himself to indulge the sweet kiss, pressing back against Jesse's warm lips.  
  
\----  
  
Jesse's Hanahaki soon died down. The petals no longer piled up in his room or in his pockets.  
  
Although, when Blackwatch got into shit and Genji left, Jesse feared the petals would come back.  
  
Genji left him a note one morning. Reyes had dragged him out and begged him to pack and leave. Overwatch was in trouble. 'Leave, Mijo. I don't want you to end up in jail. You have your whole life ahead of you.' He had said. So that's what he did.  
  
Jesse didn't open the note. He kept it hidden in his hat and left Gibraltar, on his boss' command. Jesse found himself back in his home town of Santa Fe. Not once, did he feel the familiar tingle to cough up petals.  
Although Genji left him with some stupid note, Jesse holds onto the hope that the lack of petals means that Genji is out there somewhere, still holding feelings for him.  
  
Some day, Jesse is going to grow the balls to open the letter.  
  
Some day, Jesse was going to find that damn bastard, kiss him and then punch him for leaving without a verbal goodbye because although Jesse hadn't opened the letter, he knew he wouldn't know what it would say because he couldn't damn read.  
  
...  



End file.
